Monster House

I'm not a scary movie person but I thought "how scary could a kid's movie be right?"  It turns out that a kid's movie can be pretty scary! 

As Halloween draws near three friends are determined to uncover the secrets of the creepy house in their neighbourhood.  Their detective works leads them to uncover more than they bargained for.  Fear not dear parent, all is well that ends well but it is not without it's jump scares and creepy as moments.

 The CGI is not all that good but we got drawn into the story and atmosphere of the movie and didn't notice it after a while.

Rating: Monster House was a good movie and there was no way we saw the ending coming but it is not for the faint hearted.  We will probably watch it again sometime in the future for a few thrills around Halloween.

Naughty bits: If you and your older (10+) child enjoy scary things then you will like Monster House but your kid has to be a brave soul because this movie is seriously creepy!  Definitely NOT suitable for younger and sensitive children as they will have nightmares.  Monster House is rated PG but it's bordering on 13+.

Snacks: Individually wrapped candy

Family In-quotes: "Relax. Just be cool, like me"

Related Goodies:
Other kid's movies which turned out to be WAY more creepy than advertised:
Coraline
The Polar Express

The Spy Next Door

I've reviewed Jackie Chan's work before on this blog [see link below] but most of his films are not suitable for kids.  Teens perhaps then?  Yes, for sure, they'll love them!   But not so much for kids so when we saw his face pop up on the kid's Neflix feed we were happy to have a film of his to enjoy with a younger audience.

Jackie plays a spy who masquerades as a boring accountant? type when off duty.  He has a soft spot for his very attractive single mother neighbour played by Amber Valletta.  They go on a few dates, he yearns to take the relationship further but she is reluctant on account of her children and the abandonment of them by her previous partner.  To prove he is a man worthy of her trust he offers to babysit the kids while she visits a sick relative.

Due to one of the kid's meddling his work and home life collide, threatening the peaceful weekend he had planned.  Things escalate to the point where he must take the children away thus destroying all trust his neighbour had in him and quashing their budding relationship.  How will Jackie redeem this hopeless situation?  Well with household appliances, a dashing smile and kung fu of course!!


Rating: I'm very sad to report that this movie is close to un-watchable.  The script has ALL the worst movie tropes and annoying characters it can fit in.  The acting is not good but I think the blame lies with the director and writers on this one.  The poor actors just didn't have anything good to work with.  We will not watch this movie in it's entirety again.  This is one best watched as a highlights reel of all the best fights on YouTube because thankfully Jackie and his team do not disappoint there.

Naughty bits:  This is a Jackie Chan movie so there is lots of kung fu fighting.  Things happen to characters which would definitely kill or seriously maim them in real life so if you have younger children who are likely to imitate things they see on TV then this is not suitable for them.  But for everyone else, the violence is played out with all the cartoonish exaggeration of the Home Alone series.  *No stuntmen were seriously harmed in the making of this movie*

Snacks: Dumplings

Family In-quotes: "Nice hypothesis, but ya can't prove it"

Related Goodies:
A more mature but classic Jackie Chan Movie: Who Am I

Princess Protection Program

Some little girls don't care what they wear, some little girls are little princesses from day one.  Pink!  Poofy dresses!  Tiaras!  Fairy Wings!  All at once!  Kid 2 is the little princess in our family.  She loves pretty things and all things sweet and magical, with a bit of Pokemon thrown in for good measure.  One always needs a trusty Pokemon sidekick on one's adventures.  But I digress, back to princess business; and the protection of them.

It was a cold night and I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up in bed with kid 2 and indulge in a chick flick on the laptop.  Kid 2 was all in so we found Princess Protection Program on Netflix and gave it a shot.

Selena Gomez is just a regular small town teenager with small town problems until her secret agent father brings home an unexpected housemate.  The housemate turns out to be the crown princess of an obscure South American? (think Cuba) island and Selena's father has been charged with protecting her.  Selena is roped into training the princess (Ariana Grande) in the ways of the American teenager.  Things are rocky at first but the girls come to learn from each other and grow together. 

Rating: PPP is not a great movie; the plot and characters are very cookie cutter, but it's good enough watch once with your little princess.  You can admire pretty things together and get all girl powered up.  The one plot twist is that Selena and Ariana resist the urge to break into song mid-movie!

Naughty bits: Some of the relationship/crushing moments are more suitable for teen/tween viewers; only because a younger viewer will not understand what they are talking about, and will therefore be bored.  The rest is as clean as Selena Gomez's pearly whites.

Snacks: Cereal - that you make yourself

Family In-quotes: "I will turn the other cheek, because that is what princesses do"

Related Goodies:
A fairly similar but much better Princess movie: The Princess Diaries

Men in Black

In the late 90's Will Smith was the king of cinema and Men in Black is one of his best remembered blockbusters from this time period.  We remembered it being pretty fun so we dragged kid 1 down memory lane with us.

Smith plays an earnest cop who goes beyond the call of duty to get his guy but this time he gets more than he bargains for when his guy is not a guy, but an alien!  Shortly after this he is drafted into a super secret government agency whose job is to police the universe and all alien life; he becomes a Man in Black...  and part of this call of duty is to save the world, blah, blah blah... and save it he does!  With the help of his mentor Tommy Lee Jones, some fun alien tech and badass sunglasses.


What surprised us about Men in Black was that the special effects and humour held up pretty well.  Yeah the plot was paint-by-numbers but it was a pretty fun movie and we wished that more light hearted action movies like MIB and other 90's blockbusters were around today.



Rating: Like I said, we had a fun time!  And a fun enough time that we will probably watch MIB again in a few years time (with kid 2). 

Naughty bits: MIB is a more mature kids movie.  I would recommend your kid is in double digits before showing them. The language is a bit coarse, there is heaps of human vs. alien violence and the monster at the end is pretty gross and a bit scary.  Entomophobics beware; the bugs are plentiful and creepy crawly.

Snacks: Popcorn!  with green jelly

Family In-quotes: "Put up your arms and all your flippers!"

Related Goodies:
Men in Black spin off TV Series

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

This retelling of the classic children's picture book of the same name starts off pretty "paint by numbers irritating kid's movie" but give it a chance because as the family's bad day escalates so do the laughs.  By the end things are pretty surreal but hilarious and we were glad we persevered through the beginning.  And I really, really want a copy of Dick Van Dyke's book!  Nope, I'm not giving away the spoiler to that hint, you will have to find that comedy gold yourself.

Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner convincingly play 40 something parents struggling to balance mid life crisis', work and a bunch of school age kids and the kid actors are great too but Alexander's lisp is somewhat distracting (sorry kid!) rather than endearing.


Rating: We've never read the picture book so we enjoyed the movie for what it was.  We'll watch it again sometime in the future but likely to YouTube our favourite scenes more often.

Naughty bits: Alexander and the ... is suitable for above 5yrs or so.  There are lots of slapstick moments where characters appear to be injured (and would definitely be in real life) but no one is hurt so it's OK!  A little mild potty humour here and there spice things up a bit but overall a pretty clean family movie.  However nothing remains literally clean in this universe for long...

Snacks: Go out for Japanese BBQ together then come home and watch the movie.

Family In-quotes: "This day is so cursed"

Related Goodies:
The Book which inspired the movie

Incredibles 2

Some have argued that the golden age of Pixar is over and judging by their latest sequels (bar Toy Story 3) you would be inclined to agree.  So it was with a little trepidation that we took the morning off these school holidays to see Incredibles 2.  Would it disappoint like the Cars series?  Or would it pleasantly surprise us like Toy Story 3?

 Well... it lived up to it's name baby!  Incredibles 2 is pretty incredible.  A good story, great characters and plenty of action make for a great follow up to one of our favourite family movies.  Incredibles 2 picks up where part 1 left off and follows the family as they navigate politics, math and Jack Jack's new powers (OK spoiler alert but it's in the trailers!).

As we walked into the cinema there were multiple warnings that the film contains flashing sequences which could trigger epilepsy or sensory conditions and they are to be taken seriously!  This film is pretty full on and if the flashing sequences don't trigger your kid then the non-stop action may do.  However we loved the world of the Incredibles and the production design of part 2 is so cool.  I also want to live in a futuristic 1960's with today's modern technology!

Rating: We really enjoyed Incredibles 2 and will definitely watch it again when it hits digital release.  The chemistry between the family members is so spot on and makes you want to be one of Bob and Helen's kids just to be a part of it.

Naughty bits: See trigger warning above plus there is HEAPS of fighting in this movie.  More than the previous one!  Also a couple of sequences of sinister looking characters so I don't think Incredibles 2 is suitable for very young or sensitive children.  My youngest at 5years loved it but she is not sensitive at all LOL

Snacks: Chocolate chip cookies

Family In-quotes: "Num num, cookie!"

Related Goodies:
The Incredibles original movie.  ESSENTIAL viewing!

Peter Rabbit

aka General Hux's worst holiday ever.

The books are classics, the characters are beloved, what could go wrong?  Hmmm, where do I start...  To be fair kid 2 loved this movie.  But kid 2 is five and Peter Rabbit has cute animals, plenty of visual gags and bright colours so if you want your five year old to be entertained alone for an hour or so then Peter Rabbit is great!

But is Peter Rabbit good for the whole family?  Not so much.  We [parents and kid 1] were irritated by the random pop numbers which peppered the soundtrack, we were confused and bored by the abundance of obvious "comedians riffing with each other" scenes and the characters were SO contrived!  I would much rather watched a few episodes of The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends (link below) instead.
 
Rating: We will not watch this again and we are all secretly relieved that the youngest member is happy watching the Peter Rabbit TV series on Netflix and has not requested a re-view of the movie.

Naughty bits: There is much cartoon violence against CGI animals which very young viewers may find disturbing.  School age and above should have no worries unless especially sensitive to animals and threats made toward them.

Snacks: Carrot sticks and dip

Family In-quotes: "I've chilled out, man. I'm cool now"

Related Goodies:
The Peter Rabbit TV Series
Miss Potter movie
The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends TV Series

Prince of Persia

I'm no gamer but I married into a family of gamers so we were keen to see Prince of Persia when it came out.  As a side-liner of gaming culture I was familiar with Persia and it's beloved Prince but not enough to know the story-line of the game etc.  All that to say that whilst reviewers have criticized the movie for not being remotely close to the game except in name and hairstyle I came at it from a more ignorant perspective and this possibly increased my enjoyment of it.

The movie begins with the betrayal of Persia's youngest prince, Dastan, an adopted child of the king.  He spends the rest of the movie trying to figure out who betrayed him, and why, with the reluctant help of a neighbouring kingdom's lovely princess.

Ben Kingsley as the dastardly uncle and Alfred Molina as the ostrich racer steal the show with their campy performances and Jerry Bruckheimer pulls out all the stops to create some exciting action sequences and over the top sets.

Rating: Sometimes I think movie reviewers expect too much from a movie.  PoP is not a complicated movie; the plot is paint by numbers and the characters are fairly cookie cutter but this is to be expected from this sort of popcorn blockbuster.  If you don't sweat the details too much and settle in for a rollicking good time then you will have one.  We will watch it again in a few years.

Naughty bits: As to be expected with a movie based on a computer game there is a lot of fighting and plenty of people die but in a bloodless, goreless fashion so it's not suitable for younger kids.  Also if you hate snakes then you shouldn't watch this movie, there are quite a few creepy snake shots.  There is little sexual behaviour between the characters but the two headliners are often sensuously dressed so if you have teens who you won't want looking at Jake Gyllenhaal's muscles or Gemma Arteton's curves for most of the movie then you have been warned.  

Snacks: A platter of crackers, hummus, dips and olives

Family In-quotes: "Your whole plan is suicide!"

Related Goodies:
 The Game which inspired the movie

Shaun the Sheep

There is something magical about clay-mation and the best studio in the world is UK based Aardman Animation.  They started producing the Shaun the Sheep TV series in 2007 and by 2015 it was popular enough that they made a movie.



Shaun the sheep is the clever leader of a rag-tag flock of sheep on a farm in the rolling countryside of rural England.  Through a series of mishaps the sheep cause their farmer to end up in the big city with amnesia and they take it upon themselves to rescue him. 

Like all Aardman productions the animation is incredible and the gadgets are outrageous.  The plot is pretty simple but it moves at a good pace and there are moments of humour throughout to keep things fun.


Rating: Although we enjoyed Shaun the Sheep we probably won't watch the movie again.  But it did wet our appetite for the TV series and other Aardman movies (The Curse of the Were-Rabbit). 

Naughty bits: Shaun the Sheep was as clean as the farmers house BEFORE the pigs got in and suitable for even younger viewers.  The animal catcher is a bit scary but only if you are a pre-schooler.

Snacks: Candy Floss

Family In-quotes: Ummm there is no dialog in this movie!!!!!

Related Goodies:
Wallace and Gromit

Descendants

From the people who brought you High School Musical those many years ago comes another teen high school dra-medy musical, this time with magic!  And amazing hair!  And an awkward hero!

If you loved the classic fairy tale characters which Disney lovingly brought to life in the past then you will love their descendants.  Get it?  Disney Descendants?  That's right, the sequel you never asked for has arrived.

So Beauty and the Beast have a kid and he grows into a handsome prince, a prince who is troubled with his world and so he decides to do something about it.  He selects four descendants of the villains from the forbidden villain island and gives them full scholarships to the high school for heroes and good guys' kids hoping that his kindness will change them from bad guys to good guys and he will have changed the world in some way.  However the bad guys come with agendas of their own and we are left waiting to see if good will triumph over evil... dun dun duuuunnnn!

Shout out to my main gal Kristin Chenoweth as the most outrageous Maleficent, she totally steals the show.

Rating: How you feel about this movie will hinge entirely upon how you feel about High School Musical and other camp musicals.  If you enjoy them then there is a very good chance you will enjoy this immensely, if you don't like them, this is definitely not for you.  I happen to enjoy camp musicals a lot and had a blast.  Even the big kid enjoyed this far more than HSM.  We will watch it again sometime for sure.

Naughty bits: This is a Disney production so it is as clean as Beast's kingly sash.

Snacks: Strawberries

Family In-quotes: "You do not want to be at my house at dinner time."

Related Goodies:
Disney Descendants 2 is out now too
And there is a spin off TV Series

2017 TV Overview

 Shows we watched this year

Avatar: The Last Airbender
This 3 season series from the early 2000's is one of our all time favourites and one we love to re-watch time and time again.  The three seasons tell one long story so you can't jump in or stop at one season but you need to see them all to get the full picture.  It's hard to find but in NZ it's available on Neon. 

Aang, the main character, is the Avatar; a human with a mystical connection to the spirit world.  He is charged with bringing peace and balance to the world and is befriended by two other teens who together try to fulfil his destiny in a time of great war and chaos in the world. 

The world of Avatar is very different to ours; people are gifted with "bending" in which they can manipulate objects and also the physical world can be invaded by mystical spirit creatures.  The worldview of the Avatar world is loosely based on Eastern philosophies like Shinto and Buddism which can be jarring if you come from a Judaism/Christianity worldview but the larger themes of friendship, love conquering hate and overcoming prejudice which are extolled in Avatar are things all worldviews can embrace and agree with.

The characters in Avatar are developed deeply, the action and suspense are exciting and the humour is fun.  However for the philosophical reasons above, and quite a bit of violence I would recommend Avatar for older kids.  But whatever you do, don't watch the movie (everyone who has seen it agrees it is terrible).

Rebels - season 4
Star Wars Rebels continued to be great in season 4.  This is the final season of a great series and one that has had us on the edge of seat and smiling at the same time.  I'm not sure where it will be available once Disney XD stops airing it (and DVD's are becoming a thing of the past) but if you can find it, it will be worth your while.



Voltron - season 2, 3 and 4
We had a big wait for season 2 of Voltron and it was worth it.  So exciting and the characters are well developed now with great chemistry between them.  The story is complex but there is enough going on that even younger viewers have enough to stay captivated.  Seasons 3 and 4 came out sooner and were shorter which Netflix did deliberately so we didn't have to wait so long (thank you!!).  Season 4 has been pretty wacky but so much fun!

Bravest Warriers
Back in 2010 a surreal TV series called Adventure Time hit our screens and we were entertained and disturbed in equal measure.  After a couple of years the creator, Pendleton Ward, launched another show, this time on YouTube called Bravest Warriers.  It's in a similar style to Adventure Time but set in space.  A cast of wacky characters and equally wacky plot devices make for an entertaining and again, slightly disturbing time.  It's not really a show made for kids but it's so bizarre that they will enjoy it as much as you. 
   
Miraculous Ladybug
We have girl kids in our house and the younger one is as girly as they come.  Favourite colour: pink, favourite animal: cats, favourite item of clothing: pink frilly skirt/dress.  So when we discovered Miraculous Ladybug on Netflix she was hooked. Ladybug has everything a girly girl loves: pink clothing, a cute mini creature friend, a larger cat hero, and crushing... lots of crushing; buildings, cars, buses, but mostly of the love variety.

Marinette is a clumsy but lovable teen who is given a mystical gift where she can transform into a powerful ladybug themed hero who teems up with the mysterious Cat Noir (the cat hero).  The twist is that Cat Noir is actually her real life high school crush Adrian.  Every episode follows a similar format but there is a larger storyline going on the background through the season.

This French animated series is being slowly dubbed into english so only season 1 is available but kid 2 is eagerly waiting for season 2 having seen the first episodes multiple times.  We have also been sucked into the ladybug universe as it's pretty funny and exciting (the first time).

Axe Cop
A few years ago my hub found a web comic series called Axe Cop.  The series was a collaboration between a 20 something comic artist and his younger brother, age 5.  The younger brother came up with the story ideas and the artist finessed the ideas and drew them up.  It took a corner of the internet by storm and it was a big enough corner that it was made into a TV series. 

Axe Cop is very bizarre and hilarious!  But also incredibly, cartoonishly violent... so not suitable for younger kids - more for tweens/teens I would say.  I include it because if you are looking for a series to watch with your teens that they won't turn their noses up and you don't mind some blood and guts then you will love Axe Cop.  Axe Cop is available on FXX in the States but you might find it online somewhere if you are outside the USA (wink).

Jumanji (the old one)

We love getting together with family to celebrate New Years Eve but we always find it a bit hard to fill in the time between about 8pm and midnight; especially with lots of kids milling about who want to stay up but start to run out of steam once it gets dark.  So watching a movie always seems like a great idea to have fun together and help pass the time till fireworks and the countdown. 
 
This year we were camping with the extended family and talking about old movies we liked.  The topic of Jumanji came up as the new one had just been released and we decided to re-watch the old one.  Someone hung a sheet on the washing line, put the projector on an outside table and jerry-rigged a speaker out of an old transistor radio (I love my tech savvy family) and we all sat on our camping chairs and watched Robin Williams save the day.

The original Jumanji movie is based on a fictional board game which possesses great power - the power to bring the items in the game to life!  It sucks a young boy into itself before being rediscovered years later by a brother and sister.  They play the game, the young boy (now a man) comes out and helps them finish the game and defeat the wild creatures which are brought to life. 

The effects are wild and imaginative and while many of the 1995 computer special effects don't stand the test of time, the practical ones are pretty awesome still and you don't really mind how fake they look as they are still charming and imaginative.


Rating: We enjoyed the imaginative aspect of Jumanji but it was a little repetitive (much like the board game as we later found when we received an old copy for Christmas), however none of the kids seemed to mind or notice.  They loved the surprise of which wild creature was going to come out next and what they were going to do.  By the end of the movie there is an impressive amount of damage to the house and the town and they loved the chaos.  We had some fairly young kids in our party (age 3 and up) and none of them were worried or scared but if your child is sensitive they would find Jumanji frightening as the animal scenes are pretty intense.  We will watch Jumanji again sometime in the future but not for some time.

Naughty bits: Apart from the animal violence/frightening scenes there is a fierce hunter who stalks the main characters with a gun.  However there is very little bad language and one kiss so overall Jumanji is as clean as Carl Bentley's cop car in his first scene (after that, not so much).

Snacks: Animal Biscuits and jelly snakes

Family In-quotes: (when someone farts) Don't be fooled, it isn't thunder / Staying put would be a blunder"

Related Goodies:
The Board Game (based on the movie!)
Top 10 Robin Williams Performances (not all for kids)

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (the new one)

The Rock says "I'm lost in a jungle with my three classmates and we need to escape!!"  and so begins the reboot of the classic kids film Jumanji.

This time round Jumanji is a video game which sucks four teens into it's world and forces them to band together to solve each level to beat the game and "SAVE JUMANJI!"  (You'll hear that phrase a lot...)

Jumanji is packed full of action, massive creatures,  Jurassic Park like surroundings and great one liners.  Kiwi comedian Rhys Darby is great as the "epic NPC man" who helps them realise what has happened to them and Jack Black completely steals the show as teenage girl trapped in a middle aged man's body.  The Rock is in his element playing the hero and Dr Who star Karen Gillan is tough and hilarious.  Plus she can run just as awesomely as Tom Cruise; you might say she gives him a run for his money...


Rating: We really enjoyed Jumanji and will definitely see it again.  It has a lot of really funny moments and the character development is really good for a movie of it's type.  Jumanji is not a movie to be taken seriously but it is one to sit back, relax and have a fun time watching.

However if you're not too familiar with video games you might have to ask your kids about all the references, this is one of the best gamer movies I've seen so far.

Naughty bits: Having gushed about Jumanji so much there are some caveats:  this is NOT a movie for younger or sensitive kids.  Jack Black gets suddenly eaten by a hippopotomus and the other creatures are big and pretty scary.  Also there are teen angst moments including some sensual dancing and kissing so if you'd rather your kids didn't see that sort of thing then it's not for them yet.  I would recommend for tweens and above.

Snacks: A virgin marguarita

Family In-quotes: "I hate this game!"

Related Goodies:
Epic NPC Man
Tom Cruise running