The Christmas Toy

Seeing as a new Star Wars movie is coming out at Christmas every year #RogueOne , does that make Star Wars Christmas movies now?  The debate that rages in our house every Advent is over whether a movie qualifies as a Christmas movie if it is simply set during this wonderful holiday season or must it be about Christmas to qualify?
 

Whatever side you fall on (feel free to comment below) The Christmas Toy can safely be considered a Christmas movie as it is not only set at Christmas but is about Christmas.  It is also about toys!  Which if you know anything about our family you will know us as the creators of the Toylympics .  Click on the link, share with your friends, subscribe to our channel etc.  OK plug over...  The Christmas Toy is a TV movie created by the legendary Jim Henson and is about a jealous toy who risks everything to remain the favourite toy but instead learns a good lesson about belonging and love. 

Rating: If you read a longer plot synopsis online and it sounds familiar to you, that's because it probably is.  It's the basic premise for Toy Story!  In our opinion Toy Story is a far superior film but it doesn't have puppets or song and dance numbers and that special Jim Henson something.  The kids were captured enough by the magic of the world he created but not enough that we will watch it again.  Let the debate rage again next year when we try to pick a Christmas movie.

Naughty bits: This is super clean and cute and suitable for all age children.  Nothing to see here.

Snacks: Milk and cookies!

Family In-quotes: "It's catnip! Just catnip!"

Related Goodies:
Click HERE to watch the Toylympics (suitable for all ages)
The Muppet Show

Who Am I?

Jackie Chan finally won an Oscar!  About time!!  I first discovered the legend that is Jackie Chan when my to-be-husband introduced me to his early work.  I was hooked and vowed to pass on this great filmography to my children.  Finally Friday night arrived, but which movie?  Onto IMDB's parent's guide to see which one was most appropriate.  Who Am I? fit the bill.

Jackie Chan plays a secret agent who loses his memory after a tragic accident.  He is rescued by a remote tribe before setting out to discover his true identity.  As he pieces together his past he discovers deadly secrets and a is helped by quirky journalist.  Who Am I?  delivers the classic Jackie Chan humour and legendary action sequences and some of the most outrageous stunt work you will ever see.
 
Rating: We will definitely watch this one again sometime.  Some of the acting is a bit odd due to the overdubbing (I think) but it adds to the charm rather than taking away.  If you enjoy action/comedies then this is a good introduction to the genre without worrying too much about violence/sex.

Naughty bits: There is a lot of fighting, a lot of fighting.  It is Kung Fu style and very little blood and guts but I would suggest older kids for this one (it is rated PG-13).  There is a gross dead body shot about 10mins into the film and if your kid is sensitive to that sort of thing (ours is) then be prepared for that and tell them to look away.  No romance to be found here either. 

Snacks: Coconut milk

Family In-quotes: "WHO AM I!"

Related Goodies:
For your older teenager: Rumble in the Bronx (more violent than Who Am I?)

Halloween Special - The Addams Family

We dressed up and went out early on Halloween weekend to a party organized by a local community group.  Due to the younger kids being bored/tired we came home earlier than expected and were able to squeeze in a movie with the older kid before bedtime.  The least scary Halloweenish movie we could think of was The Addams Family (based on the 1960's TV series).



The Addams Family tells the tale of an unconventional family who are preyed upon by a pair of con artists but ultimately triumph using the forces of family, love and sheer quirkiness.  I was not expecting the love story between the two protagonists, Morticia and Gomez Addams, to be so prominent in the movie but it was sweet (and rare) to see an onscreen married couple still in love after many years (and a couple of kids).  Our kid loved the craziness of their household and the randomness that ensued, lots of the time it was like living in Opposite Land!


Rating: The Addams Family is a little harder to follow than most movies aimed at a tween audience because not all the plot points are handed to the viewer on a plate but there is enough fun to keep everyone entertained throughout.  It was a little slow to get going but once we got into it we enjoyed it and we will watch it again in a year or two and also the sequel.

Naughty bits: We were wary about this movie for the scare factors but there were very few "jumpy" bits and although it's a bit creepy the atmosphere (music etc) tells the kids there is nothing to fear here.  There is a gory scene near the end featuring LOTS of fake blood but it is in the context of a play so we all knew it was not serious. And of course there are lots of Morticia and Gomez lovey dovey moments Blergh!

Snacks: Halloween candy

Family In-quotes: "Don't be a baby, I know what I'm doing"

Related Goodies:
The original TV series
Morticia Addams Makeup Tutorial
Story Pirates Podcast "Field Trip to Oppositeland"

Get Smart

My dad loved the TV series Get Smart and I remember catching bits and pieces of it while he chortled away on the sofa but I really only remember Max's distinctive nasal voice, the famous door sequence and 99's sharp wit and bob.




In Get Smart, the movie, Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway attempt to re-imagine the series and make it relevant for today's audiences and we think they succeeded.  Sure it's a little slow getting started and Max is pretty annoying in the beginning but once things get going it's a fun ride and the Carell/Hathaway chemistry is surprisingly great.  This movie also features one of my faves, The Rock, as the superstar spy and when he and his megawatt smile enter the room it's truly fabulous.  The director hams this up too which makes it even better.

We watched some of the clips of the old show on YouTube after the movie and we all agreed the updated humour was much better than the original. The finale scene made us all laugh out loud so hard but I can't give it away, the reveal is just too good.

Rating:We were all highly entertained by Get Smart and there was enough plot that the kid had fun trying to figure out who the bad guy was.  We will definitely watch this again some time.

Naughty bits: There is some cartoon violence, some mild language and a couple of mild sexual innuendos but for the most part it is as clean as Agent 23's white shirt (how does he keep it soooo clean?)

Snacks: Ice cream cone of silence

Family In-quotes: "Missed it by that much"

Related Goodies:

Chicken Run

It was another rainy Saturday afternoon so we decided to settle in for a movie as a family including No.2 this time.  Chicken Run sounded interesting and was made by the Aardman folks (famous for Wallace & Gromit, Shaun the Sheep) so we were excited.  But things sort of petered out from there. 



Chicken Run is a retelling of The Great Escape which is a great concept but the story and wartime in-jokes were lost on the kids and they were kind of bored by the end although there were plenty of visual gags to amuse from time to time.  We did enjoy the bad end that came to the antagonists but it felt like it took a long time getting there and the chemistry between the two leads was flighty.

Rating: It was an original concept but they somehow didn't quite pull it off.  We will definitely keep re-watching Wallace & Gromit and Shaun the Sheep but won't be watching this one again.

Naughty bits: The dogs could be frightening to very small children but the rest is as clean as Fowler's hut.

Snacks: Chicken Pie

Family In-quotes: "Why, back in my RAF days..."

Related Goodies:
Wallace & Gromit
Shaun the Sheep
The true story of The Great Escape

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

There is a mighty 90's comeback (especially in fashion) right now so it seemed right to indulge in the classic film Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.  While technically an 80's film it definitely inspired many great 90's sayings and fashion and starred a young Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter's abs; perfectly shown off by his crop tee.  Yes, a crop tee.  On a heterosexual man.  Hey people, it was on the cusp of the 90's.


Bill and Ted's is a time traveling sci-fi adventure buddy film about two besties who are failing history and have to come up with an epic final presentation so that Ted doesn't end up at military school, end their band and ruin the future.  It's a tall order and so to achieve that they end up going through time to bag them some historical figures.  Needless to say comic chaos ensues.

Rating: It's a little slow to get started but it's super fun and we will watch it again soon.  Next thing on our list is Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

Naughty bits: There is one particularly awkward scene where sex is implied, some mild bad language and some fighting but nothing too serious. 

Snacks: A huge bowl of icecream - to share.

Family In-quotes: "Excellent!"

Related Goodies:
Wayne's World - full nineties buddy film awesomeness (not for kids though)

Miss Congeniality

Our niece introduced us to this movie many moons ago.  We enjoyed it and thought it about time to unleash on our own kids.  The kid took a little persuading that it would be a goodie but Sandra and her epic comic timing won her over.  In the end she even guessed the bad guy!  Proud mummy moment.

Miss Congeniality is the story of a tomboy cop who is forced into beauty pageant hell by her colleagues in order to crack a case.  And crack she does... crack us up!  Sandra Bullock and Benjamin Bratt have great chemistry and are pros at physical comedy and snappy dialog.  And wonderful bonus performances by Michael Caine, Candice Bergman and wait for it... William Shatner.  Words of warning though; this is a movie from the end of the 90's/early 2000's so some of that infamous sexist 90's humour is painfully obvious.


Rating: We had a fun watch and enjoyed this detective romp.  Definitely watch again in a little while.  Some good themes to discuss; don't judge a book by it's heavily made up cover, intelligent girls can hold their own, it's OK to be a feminist and enjoy pretty things (or not).

Naughty bits:  Nearly as clean as Benjamin's suits but there are suggestive comments and overt sexism (see aforementioned comments).  Some drinking, a kiss and a confession of sexual assault (but before you freak out it's obscure enough to only be a trigger warning for adults).  Suitable for older kids as the plot is fairly complex and themes are mature.

Snacks: Pizza!

Family In-quotes: "What is the one most important thing our society needs?
Gracie Hart: That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.
[crowd is silent]
Gracie Hart: And world peace!"

Related Goodies:
Drop Dead Gorgeous - beauty pageant black comedy - not for kids!
26 random facts about Miss Congeniality

Labyrinth

At the risk of creating great division the most important question we need to get out of the way before we discuss Labyrinth in more detail is "who wore the pirate shirt better?  Jennifer?  Or Bowie?"  The next important question being "why did pirate shirts date badly in real life but not in fantasy movies?"  Oh the dilemmas.

I loved Labyrinth as a kid and wanted to pass this love onto my kids so last rainy Sunday afternoon we settled in.  We didn't do our usual Friday night thing because we wanted number 2 kid to join in.  She watched it all the way though with her fave bits being the baby crawling all over the M. C. Escher inspired stairs and the dog riding the dog.  I know, it's a fox but number 2 is four so I'm going to let it go.  Number 1 kid tapped out about half way through and went and did something else, occasionally turning round to see bits she liked and when asked for her review she said it got a bit boring in the middle and kind of lost the plot.  Plot was less important to me as a child!

Labyrinth tells the story of a teen who gives her baby brother to the Goblin King by mistake and then has to navigate the King's labyrinth to rescue him.  Along the way she gathers a small group of unlikely friends and meets many strange and unusual creatures.  The Jim Henson puppetry and creativeness is breathtaking, almost as breathtaking as Bowie's hairdo.

Rating: Maybe for the younger kid who is less concerned with story and just loves being immersed in a magical world as I did.  We will watch Labyrinth from time to time.

Naughty bits: If you have no objections to numerous fart jokes and other mild potty humour, you will enjoy Labyrinth.  However there are some scenes which might frighten more sensitive kids (a little dark and spooky with "jumpy" bits).  And then there is Bowie's codpiece...

Snacks: Peaches and cream

Family In-quotes: "Who do?" "You do!" "Do what?"  "Remind me of the babe"

Related Goodies:
10 Things you didn't know about Labyrinth 
Jemaine Clement does excellent Bowie 
It's not related, but the Labyrinth board game is a lot of fun

The Truman Show

We weren't sure if the kid would be into this one.  We remembered a lot of talking and not so much action but after hearing quickly what it was about she wanted to give it a go and we were glad we did.  The Truman Show was Jim Carrey's first serious role and showed he could actually act!

Truman Burbank lives an idyllic life on an island off the coast of the United States but little does he realise that his life is lived inside a huge TV set and planned meticulously by a producer who streams his life 24/7 to the world.  The movie depicts what happens as he figures out his life is a lie.  There are moments of heartbreak and quite a few moments of comedy (hey!  It is still Jim!) and it had the kid on the edge of her seat trying to work out how it was all going to end.

There are interesting themes in The Truman Show about the nature of reality, big brother, the ownership of people and deception.  It sparked many jokes in our house about hidden cameras everywhere.


Rating: We rate The Truman Show as a modern day classic.  It is an amazingly crafted movie with a great plot and fascinating characters.  We will watch this again sometime for sure. 

Naughty bits: There is one allusion to sexy times and some mild violence but nothing to worry a kid over 9 years old.  Kids under 9 might find the movie a bit boring though as the themes are a bit over their heads. 

Snacks: Hot Chocolate

Family In-quotes: "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

Related Goodies:
Jim Carrey's other standout serious role in a great movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (not for kids though!!)
Another movie exploring reality TV which came out a similar time: Ed TV (also not for kids)

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

There are a couple of things we all think of when we think of the 1970's; psychedelic randomness and tight pants.  Star Trek: The Motion Picture does not disappoint on both counts.  We being more a Star Wars than Trek family were new to this universe and went into this movie with fresh eyes knowing little about the characters or setting.  Well I can now see the appeal of Captain Kirk; he was utterly fabulous.  The movie, not so much but was entertaining enough and has rounded out our pop culture education nicely we feel.

Captain Kirk comes out of bureaucracy to captain the Enterprise once again amidst some tension between himself and the new captain.  Despite this they shoot off into space to head off a massive threat to earth where danger and the unknown lurk.  *Spoiler Alert* they do save the day but I missed the last 20 minutes [sleeping] which kind of gives you an idea of the slowness of the proceedings.


Rating: We enjoyed this movie enough but it is quite slow and seemed longer than its 2hr 10min running time.  We wouldn't watch it again but we might try other Star Trek products.  We enjoyed Galaxy Quest (the parody) much better.

Naughty bits: This movie is as clean as Captain Kirk's tennis inspired outfit but there is a disturbing scene early on where the transporters catastrophically fail and you see the people die screaming horribly.  Not too gory but we all knew what was going on.

Snacks: Freeze Dried Icecream

Family In-quotes: "Any show of resistance would be futile, Captain."

Related Goodies:
StarTrek official site
StarTrek wiki

Finding Dory

We were pretty excited to see what Pixar would do with the sequel to Finding Nemo so we got ourselves off to the movies one chilly Friday night.

Finding Dory is about Dory (duh) and her mission to find her family in the hope she will discover where she belongs.  Marlin and Nemo chase her through many obstacles (and Finding Nemo references) on her journey hoping to convince her to come "home" again.  *Plot Spoiler*  It all works out alright in the end and they make more new friends along the way.

How did we find it though?  Well a little bit boring unfortunately.  Number 2 kid got a bit fidgety in the middle until the final action sequence and number 1 kid said she was a bit bored.  I think it was that there were too many emotional scenes between action scenes and that made it seem longer than it really was.  I also found it a little disturbing as a parent (Dory is a "missing child") as have other adults I spoke to about it.  So trigger warning if you are a parent of disabled (or not) kids, or you have memory issues.

Rating: We would rate this a watch once movie and we will go back to the classic (Finding Nemo) for our Dory fixes.

Naughty bits: No naughty bits but there is one scary scene involving a large squid so for younger viewers or sensitive kids they may want to cover their eyes for that one.


Snacks: Goldfish crackers (if you live in the States)

Family In-quotes: "Just keep swimming"

Related Goodies:
This real life circular fish tank

The School of Rock

Don't you love how Hollywood can turn a potentially sinister situation into something lighthearted and funny?  So goes The School of Rock (See also Overboard).  It is every parent's nightmare that a substitute teacher would swear their children to secrecy about what they are doing in the classroom, hide those activities from school authorities and then make a way to take said children on an unaccompanied field trip.  But when Jack Black does it, it's hilarious and you root for the guy.  Oh Hollywood.

We like awkward humour and we thought The School of Rock would be a great way to introduce this style to the kid.  Well in parts it was so awkward she was hiding behind one of the cushions on the couch.  Mission accomplished.


Rating: The School of Rock was a fun movie and we will probably watch it again sometime in the future.  We should educate the kid on some classic rock first so she gets more of the references.

Naughty bits: The School of Rock is as clean as Summer's uniform (apart from the stranger danger element).  A good opportunity to talk about dodgy adults with your kids.

Snacks: Filled Roll

Family In-quotes: "Now raise your goblet of rock. It's a toast to those who rock! "

Related Goodies:
The School of Rock TV series

She's the Man

My Mom'n'law took me out to see Shakespeare's Twelfth Night when the play rocked into town and we had a fun day out.  I didn't take the kids (2 hours of sitting through mostly talking and raunchy antics, no thank you) but I liked the story and when we discovered that there was a modern equivalent we put it on the list for Family Movie Night.  Thus one Friday night we sat down to She's the Man;  a very loose adaptation of the Twelfth Night.

Viola is gutted to discover that her school has cut the girls soccer team so when an opportunity arises for her to join the boys team at a rival school she leaps at the chance.  The only issue is that she has to pose as her twin brother in order to join.  Viola is played by Amanda Bynes and in the early 2000's she was the queen of the outrageous teen comedy.  See also Sydney White.  Her facial expressions and physical comedy are impressive and hilarious and it doesn't hurt that Tobias Funke is the principal of the school.

Rating: This movie is quirky and hilarious.  The kid laughed out loud and so did we.  We will watch again sometime.

Naughty bits: There is some mild language, sexual references a half naked Channing Tatum which will lead to naughty thoughts.

Snacks: Cheese

Family In-quotes: "Oh! She shoots, she scores! Goal!"

Related Goodies:
Twelfth Night Plot overview
Surprising facts about She's the Man

Aquamarine

Number 2 daughter is obsessed with mermaids so we thought this would be a good one to include her in Family Movie Night.  She loved the mermaid bits but sadly they were few and far between and we ended up flopping around on the floor being mermaids rather than watching most of it.  Although there is nothing dodgy in this movie it's not so suitable for nearly 4 year olds.  Too much relationship drama and not enough mermaid action.

Two besties are celebrating the last days of summer together before one of them moves away when a storm brings a new fishy friend into their lives.  She is wanting to learn about love and the three of them set out on a mission to find it for her.  Weird hilarity and serious girl bonding ensues.

Rating: It's a little corny but a fun watch and a way to introduce teen love and relationships topics to an older child (especially since the main characters gather their knowledge about relationships from magazines.  Big mistake).  Our number 1 daughter enjoyed it.  Not suitable for younger kids for the boring, it's a talkie movie factor.  We may watch it again in a few years if number 2 is still interested in mythical creatures.

Naughty bits: Some teen kisses and mild language occurs. 

Snacks: Jelly snakes

Family In-quotes: "Wait you need shoes!  And undies!"

Related Goodies:
Barbie: A Mermaid Tale A more suitable mermaid movie for young girls.  Plenty of mermaid action!
The Little Mermaid - A classic Disney mermaid movie
H2O: Just Add Water - An Australian TV mermaid series for older kids/tweens

Spy School

When you hear the title "Spy School" does it spark your imagination to dream up images of kids learning how to be spies and then having to save the world from some dastardly villain?  Yes we were sucked in by our imaginations and chose this one hoping for great things.  We were disappointed.  Very disappointed.

Spy School is about two regular tweens (a boy and a girl.  Friends.  The girl is heavily friend-zoned) who attend a regular school.  The boy has an overactive imagination and tells tall tales to gain popularity.  However the tales are not tall enough to warrant any surreal imaginative sequences but they are tall enough to get everyone to reject him.

Then when you've almost gone to sleep the president's daughter turns up, almost gets kidnapped and the boy tries [pointlessly and improbably] to save the day.


Rating: We almost quit on this one half way through, it was sooo slow and boring.  Won't watch again.

Naughty bits: This movie is as clean as the science lab before the practical joke and purple sludge incident.

Snacks: Hors d'oeuvres

Family In-quotes: "You're so disturbed"

Related Goodies:
Spy School book series (not related to the movie but seems more like what you would expect from the title)

A Cinderella Story

Long time readers of the blog will have realised that our family has girls so there will always be a girl bias when it comes to the movies we review.  With this in mind I introduce to you a movie from the golden years of Hillary Duff; A Cinderella Story.

A Cinderella Story is a modern remake of the classic fairy tale.  The movie is set in a 2000's Californian high school and features such modern technology as chat rooms, texting and flip phones.  This movie comes with so much cheese that you'll need more than a packet of crackers to get through it but it has a lot of fun too and the evil stepmother Fiona (Jennifer Coolidge) really steals the show - she's totally horrible, but fabulous.

Rating: As far as chick flicks go this one is pretty much by the book but it doesn't take itself too seriously and spurred lots of discussion with the kid about relationships and the dreaded "friend zone" etc.  We'll watch it again in a little while when Dad is out.

Naughty bits: There are a few big smooches but no violence or bad language.  If you want to use this movie as a springboard to talk about online safety that's not a bad thing either.

Snacks: Salmon sushi and a coffee

Family In-quotes: "Anything you say to me, you can say in front of my peeps"

Related Goodies:
The Friend Zone
11 Unrealistic moments in A Cinderella Story - but we love it anyway

Zootopia

We were so excited about this coming out that we had to go to the movies on the first Friday it was on.  And seeing as it's still playing in theaters I'll try not to spoil it too much for ya.

Zootopia tells the story of an enthusiastic bunny who achieves her dream to work as a cop in the big city before getting caught up in a mystery much bigger than she ever could imagine.  You would think that the moral of the story would be the usual Disney "believe in yourself" but refreshingly it doesn't go there but points to something deeper and more meaningful.  I won't say anymore except to say it's worth finding out for yourself.

The production design (it's a cartoon) is amazing; super colourful and jam packed with seemingly endless detail.  Disney have created a world I want to visit so bad!

Rating: We will definitely see/buy this when it comes out on dvd/internet buy.  If you remembered liking the classic "who done it" detective stories (Agatha Christie etc) then you will like Zootopia.  The plot is very much a guessing game of who done it, there are plenty of good jokes and the character development is really good too.  Repeated viewing for us.


Naughty bits: The movie is as clean as Judy Hopp's uniform but there are some scary and jumpy animal moments for sure.  Think the hyenas from The Lion King but more snarly.  We took our 3 1/2 year old and she had to tell herself to be brave but she pushed through the pain because she was enjoying it so much.  If you have kids which are sensitive about that sort of thing then they will hate it.

Snacks: Ice blocks

Family In-quotes: "You know you love me"

Related Goodies:
That amazing "Weaselton" reference from Frozen
Super cute cosplay

Spy Kids

It seems that the 2000's were a golden time of live action movies for kids.  These days they seem to be all animated, which is cool, but I miss seeing real people on screen.  Spy Kids is a live action sci-fi fantasy movie made just for kids and it made me wish that more movies were being made like it.

Carmen and Juni Cortez are just regular kids until their parents are kidnapped and they discover that their parents are actually *plot spoiler* spies!  The kids must use all their wits and gadgets to outsmart the bad guys and rescue their parents (as well as the world). 


Rating:  Some of the spy/sci-fi movies we've reviewed have been for older kids but Spy Kids has been created with the younger primary school age child in mind.  There are some tense moments and the kid robots are a little creepy but overall everything is done in an innocent and fun way.  Our kid is at the older end of the kid spectrum but she still loved it and asked to watch Spy Kids 2 the next night.  We didn't; the adults couldn't handle more Spy Kids.

Naughty bits:  Spy Kids is as clean as Alexander Minion's suit.


Snacks:  Microwave Popcorn

Family In-quotes: "Ooooh, shii... take mushrooms"

Related Goodies:
Spy Kids 2
The Spy Kids all grown up
Totally Spies TV series

Race to Witch Mountain

Race to Witch Mountain is a remake of a 1975 movie (Escape to Witch Mountain) which was an adaption of the 1968 book of the same name by Alexander Key.  So yeah, it has a history behind it.  I don't recommend watching the original movie; we couldn't get through 10 minutes of it, but we had a good time watching this remake.

The movie tells the story of a cab driver (The Rock - with a past) who picks up two teenagers who turn out to be *spoiler alert* aliens and the race is on for them to get back to their spaceship before the world ends.  And race they do; this is an action packed sci-fi movie which had our kid on the edge of her seat.


Rating:  This movie was rated low by Rotten Tomatoes and other review sites but I think they were a little harsh.  If you go to see a movie starring The Rock and it's by produced Disney I think you should expect a fun time without using up too many precious brain cells, not monumental cinema.  And this movie delivers that.  For kids, who haven't seen many movies, it's exciting for them to try and figure out what's going on and Witch Mountain is a good introduction to suspense and mystery storytelling.  We will watch this again sometime in the future.

Naughty bits:  There is a lot of violence, a couple of monsters and some sinister characters in this movie so I recommend it for older kids/teens.  Plenty of suspenseful "jumpy" bits too which more sensitive kids will not like.

Snacks:  Something gooey

Family In-quotes: "Don't go in the pimped out fridge, Jack..."

Related Goodies:
The book which inspired two movies